Daubney-isms

Just some funnies I couldn't help but publish!


There's one too many fiber-glabs transvestites.


I feel like a prawn...a prawn in your game.


Lets not delete the fat girls phone number just yet.


D: How are you? erect?
B: semi.

Loaded Cover Girl Shoot: Week 5 in the life of a Loaded workie

Having still refused to leave this fine establishment, it was time to include me in a photoshoot! The order of the day was 'Christmas Crackers', and with jokes regarding Ho Ho Hoes and Santa's little slappers, it was to business. It took place at a very traditional Islington boozer, not the most glamorous of settings I grant you. But it felt festive with the cosy fireplaces and beheaded mammals decorating the walls.
After several hours of lifting heavy set items up and down stairs and watering the young glamour model sensations Amy Green and Rosie Jones, I was red faced, sweaty and feeling highly unattractive! However I was happy that I got to do most of the set building and found myself running in between shots to adjust the background. Aah these small glories! Glamour shoots are rarely as hair raising as people think. Everyone involved including the models see it as a business although some are a bit of a giggle. However, with a lot of girl-on-girl spanking today I could see most of the guys were perhaps a teeny bit hot under the collar! I snapped a couple of behind the scenes pics for you including St Nick from Southwark Pole... and then later for the spanking! An average day in the life of a Loaded employee!click it!

Here are some of the best professional shots for the December cover article. One little gem I learned today is although we painted on a naughty sore red spank mark on Amy, this particular image would never be allowed to be on the front cover. This is because it could apparently be seen as encouraging sordid sexual beatings...

 

.....and the shot of the day!

Victorian Loaded

The Victorians have always fascinated me, this was an incredible age, where science and technology advanced more than ever before in history. I think its a shame and injustice almost that many believe this was a time where everyone upheld prudish family values. However this was only a cover up. I studied the different ways they expressed sensuality in such a restrained age. From what I have discovered- it was only on the very surface that innocent perfection of family life. The women found ways of being openly flirtatious- like making their figures obscenely curvaceous using their legendary complex underwear. However I see this as a sexual victory in itself- woman ever since have bought into 'sex wear' that consists of a slightly modernised version of corsets and stockings. Artists also started to break the tradition of painting wholesome happy families, and painted insinuations of adultery, prostitution and temptation. The Pre-Raphaelites were the innovators of this scandalous truth in illustrative art- although taking a medieval style of expression.

Also with the invention of the camera the Victorian underworld wasted almost no time in photographing nudes and incredibly rude pornographic images. It was all incredibly secretive at the time, with dealers on shadowy street corners selling these images masquerading as postcards. Please feel free to click this (fairly tame in comparison to some!) for a more detailed look at the retrospank!

Another inspiration for this shoot was this 1920s photograph called 'Greta Beaton as a Shooting Star'. The work that went into the set is especially inspiring to me; the crinkly crystal textures. I also like the notion of giving a beautiful natural phenomenon a powerful female persona. My picture 'The Nymph' represents the fiery haired temptresses of the water that progressive painters, such as the Pre-Raphaelites, illustrated amongst other sensual forms.
Nancy Beaton as a shooting Star, 1928 by Cecil Beaton, and 2009 'The Nymph' Click it!

-The cover...What humorous attitudes would they play on? I thought it might look something like this. I'll make Gentlelads out of you lot yet!

Vikki Blows, a Superhero?!

I'm a designer by nature, but in this world of 'work experience' it becomes hard to define yourself...however I get to do loads of fun shiss so who's complaining? After several weeks of working on Loaded articles such as 'Pornalikies'- a look at pornstars each with an uncanny resemblance to an unsuspecting celebrity- I finally got the chance to write and illustrate an article!

I went to meet Neil Edwards, illustrating extraordinaire for Marvel and DC. He talked us through the how-tos of drawing the Superhero, to think about the anatomy, character, and environment. He illustrated his points by merely sketching The Hulk in front of my very eyes! Then using his tips I had a go at designing my Superhero. I had been given glamour girl Vikki Blows as my inspiration, and with my promise of a gun-arm and laser vision, I had run from the office before I had promised any more with my questionable drawing abilities! Neil Also had a go at Vikki Blows.

(Left) Neil Edwards sketches supe'd up Vikki Blows in about 8 seconds, and (right) my attempt, although I had a couple of hours! 
Click this link to use my How-Tos to create your Super-character! 

How cool is Patti Smith?

laa. Daydreaming about photographing this gorgeous legend